I haven’t posted much this month, partly because it’s December and I’ve been busy and partly because I am feeling better. Yes, that’s right, I don’t want to jinx it by writing it down but I am feeling better.
The bone-crushing fatigue I’ve had for almost all of 2009 seems to have lifted, I’m no longer struggling to sit and stand by lunchtime. I can get my work done in the evening and manage housework at the weekend.
None of my joints are too bad either, my ankle still isn’t great and the snow and ice have made it clear how much range of motion I’ve lost in that joint since it started flaring up several months ago, but it’s not screaming agony to walk down the stairs and that has to be a good thing.
The other reason I think I’m feeling so well is I’ve just had an appointment with the rheumatologist, and I always seem to make a miraculous recovery about 2 days before I visit the doctors. Anyway, I trudged through the snow, for a 5 minute consultation that consisted of “yes, you seem to be doing better, come back in 6 months”. 6 months is an improvement on 3 months, lets hope none of my other joints flare up in the mean time.
I think that is the trouble with this disease, it’s so unpredictable. I am constantly waiting for another joint to flare up and give me trouble and based on past experience that will happen again. I also know that the fatigue could flare up again any time and if anything, I find that thought more depressing. Fatigue screws up your life, I don’t care what anyone says about pacing and finding your limits. At the end of the day, if you can’t do what you want to do (and often HAVE) to do in a day then it’s frustrating and depressing however much you “pace” or “goal set”. When that fatigue goes on for months it’s very hard to keep up any semblance of a normal life.
Anyway, enough moaning. Here’s hoping 2010 is a good one.
